Best Headline of 2009

Huge blob of Arctic goo floats past Slope communities

Although Commenter [redacted because Brother Dan is a meanie and is like to chastise me in a post right above this one] will likely take offense to the derogatory reference to Asians, Manbearpig tells POWIP that the arrival of said goo, "...heralds a new era in world history: the era of 'Mysterions.' We should all take note. I call upon the great supra-national furies to right this wrong. A threat of this magnitude cannot be ignored. Mother Earth is sending a signal."

Our fact-finding mission started with a search on Wikipedia.org, the world's foremost source for stuff relating to the world (and SPAAAAAAAAACE, too). However, a search for the term "Mysterions" yielded nothing but a redacted article (convenient?) purportedly sand-boxed by a Wiki Editor for violation of Wikipedia.org posting guidelines. The in-line comments of the editor, identified as [iloveolberdouche], stated "pls refrain from forcing this issue. I have never heard of your band. nor do I have any reason to conclude there is such a thing as post-apocolyptic hedge pop. as such, this page and this issue are settled. pls stop from abusing your privileges or I will have to collapse your wiki account. and, no I am not gay as you insist. I have a girlfriend in Vancouver."

The Mysterions are here, according to Manbearpig because "... the Cuspers have finally arrived to take her home. We must be nude. Don't be shy. They won't harm us. They are here to quarantine the Mysterions." What followed was truly spectacular. Manbearpig disrobed and began rolling to and fro, humming some incantation we could not discern. His penis was very small as you can imagine, given all of the Pacific Islanders within eyeshot. Also, it was cold. So it is likely that in reality he has a giant unit.

[developing]